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Some relationships enhance your life while others diminish and deplete you. Did you end up dating any younger men? Our members love Freehookups. When wooing, pairs of men were much better coordinated than couples. Gay porn male masturbation demons... Little Blonde Bimbo Gets Her Hole... And there have been multiple-partner dates, which involved average-looking East Bay residents who swing, tie up, dominate, submit, and spank.

Two middle-aged women discover that casual sex can be anything but casual. By Anna ReedLily Penza. In this piece, published this July, Anna Reed and Lily Penza go undercover to explore what sex life is like on Craigslist. It takes a woman about a thousand words and a condom to get laid on Craigslist.

At an age when most women were sending their firstborns off to college, we found ourselves - through chance and circumstance - single, tumescent and ripe for adventures. Years before embarking on Craigslist, both of us had experienced sexual abandonment. We were both hungry for intimacy and physical touch after years of wandering in the desert. Our lives were on similar trajectories. Lily never married and spent most of her life caring for an ill parent who died recently.

Not one of these authors could tell her as much about sexuality as her own inner life did. Emerging from a stale and sexless marriage, she would do things her way this time around. She started answering ads last July. She was open to every person and every experience - even Republicans, first time fuck casual hook up sites, as long as they could kiss.

Lily told her close friends about how thoroughly she would be sleeping around, joking, "I want my vagina to have call-waiting. Anna decided to try Craigslist because she found other online dating sites too silly. Now, despite her wrinkles and middle-age spread, she "dates" a multitude of guys. Virtually everyone on Craigslist lies about something: their name, their age, their weight, their marital status, maybe even their penis or bra size. Lily and Scott were seeking a third partner to join a menage a trois.

Before anybody actually met face to face, Lily dumped Scott and canceled the threesome, but she became e-mail pals with her would-have-been sex partner, Anna. Once we met, we realized we had a lot in common, and began sharing our respective experiences. Our adventures have included the hot, the not-so-hot, and some potential hook-ups that never even got off the ground.

Or two girls fuck women getting fucked ex-con who went down on Anna for an hour straight.

There were forgettable ones too, like the alcoholic art dealer, or the guy who excused himself in the middle of sex to smoke a cigarette. And free fucked girls erotic phorn have been multiple-partner dates, which involved average-looking East Bay residents who swing, tie up, dominate, submit, and spank.

What kind of sex did we find? Some of the lovemaking was wonderful, a lot of it was initially awkward but got better as time went on, and some of it was downright disastrous. Upending the notion of "Casual Encounters" - as Craigslist dubs its "Just Looking to Get Laid Tonight" category - we both discovered that casual sex is anything but. Perhaps because we are highly verbal, our initial Craigslist encounters involved a ream of e-mail. Sometimes we just coordinated the logistics of the hookup, but equally often, we wrote and received profoundly intimate and revealing letters - an epistolary of erotic stories.

Then there is the issue of sexual chemistry, which is arbitrary, inexplicable and largely unpredictable. And not everyone keeps their word. More than once, last-minute cancellations left us calling one another for support, or just drunk, horny and alone with a DSL connection.

But when it works - and it has - there is the sheer joy of exploring sexuality without any strings attached. And sometimes a woman can find a treasured friend with benefits, an outright boyfriend - or the love of her life. Three lovers told Lily the potty-mouthed comedian was their "fantasy fuck. This rule is as applicable to men as it is to women. Failure to take notes will make pillow talk a minefield. If you are compulsive, go ahead and make a chart.

What we found Probably because the ads are free and largely uncensored, Craigslist has become "Hook-Up Central" on the Web. The unspoken acronyms behind online personals are HIV, HPV, first time fuck casual hook up sites, HSV, and HepB. Sexually transmitted diseases are the scourge of the modern gal navigating her way around Craigslist.

Studies show one of the highest rates of new HIV transmissions is currently among women over forty, first time fuck casual hook up sites. Just as a middle-aged woman knows she is ultimately responsible for her own orgasm, she also knows she alone is responsible for her own sexual safety, first time fuck casual hook up sites.

Some people who date on Craigslist are careful, some are not. His ad said he was "well-versed in the appropriate acts and mechanics" and able to "control myself so that everyone has a good time. And his fuck buddy quotes define fucker of prostitutes as "pregnant meth-heads" is incredibly offensive.

Other ads were more tender: "Please, I feel so lonely," or "Please I just want to hold you. There is an endless variety of enticing, amusing, and top sex apps passion sex porn messages.

Neither of us ran our own ads; it was more fun to see what the guys were offering. Lily answered ads in the Men Seeking Women section while Anna looked in Casual Encounters, first time fuck casual hook up sites.

Anna was okay with the explicit nature of that milieu, and the ratio of first time fuck casual hook up sites to women worked in her favor.

Anna thinks like a guy anyway: have sex first; if that works out, see if girls finder bravoteens erotica follows. We answered ads that ranged stylistically: some were hilariously funny and tongue-in-cheek; some showed intelligence and creativity; others were just plain romantic. A good vocabulary excited us: one guy claimed he was a "naughty sesquipedalian.

Often one of us was the only woman to respond to an ad - that is, the only real woman. There are enterprising escorts, cyber-bots, and pay-to-view porn scams galore that spam male posters. Many ads have photos, not just prose. This tactic increases the chances the posting will be read, but not necessarily that it will be answered. After all, the most common picture is the erect phallus.

But, without a ruler or other scale reference in the photograph, a gal is skeptical. You also find narcissists in cyber-space: "You will suck my cock. You will lick my balls. You will do it all to ME. We sent current G-rated portraits to a new contact. Current is the key word here; people on Craigslist frequently post photos taken at least ten years earlier, or photos too dark or too far away to show details.

The web etiquette we prefer: a compliment from a guy when they received our photo, as preparation for stage two. Flattery is nine-tenths of seduction. Did we throw out porna sex film what does buddies mean rule book, cloth cover and all, and go against the advice of every therapist, professional matchmaker, and guest on Oprah by sleeping with men too soon? There is animosity in online forums about this; some women complain that women who bed men on Craigslist right away are spoiling the dating scene.

We just wanted to have fun. But after an hour I would need. Are you for real? I thought it would be fun to find someone who appreciates that. So tell me about you! If you are for real, it would be wonderful. Arthur was intuitive and long-lasting. Plus he was a sweet guy. Fit became quite winded after the first slight grade change. Perhaps his definition of being "athletic" involved sitting on the couch watching sports. While they connected intellectually, Mr.

Fit accused Lily of misrepresentation. She chalked it up to a good walk spoiled. Later, channeling her inner-bitch, she realized she should have said to Mr. He gave great e-mail. A former art dealer, Phil and Lily discussed de Kooning and Franz Kline. Phil wrote that his ideal woman was a cross between "the shiksa goddess Diane Keaton, and Sarah Silverman. Phil, on the other hand, was utterly mellow. You are so relaxed," Lily told him.

Maybe Phil had confused a bottle from his liquor cabinet with his mouthwash? Since they were so compatible - and they were physically attracted to each other - Lily proceeded with the date as planned. Later that evening, when they made it back to his place, Phil poured them each a glass of brandy and got to the business of pleasing Lily.

But his penis had made other plans. The problem of erectile dysfunction looms large among men of a certain age. Anna concluded that erectile dysfunction might be the great equalizer: "It makes older men more vulnerable now, more human than when they were young and at the top of their game.

The awkwardness of the moment subsided, but killed the date. Younger guys The cure for old guys with erectile dysfunction is younger guys. Trouble is, sometimes they have erectile dysfunction too. A younger guy is not a get-out-of-jail-free card. There are a fair number of attractive, fun men in their thirties and forties who post on Craigslist looking to hook up with a woman ten or fifteen years their senior.

Dylan: "I first time fuck casual hook up sites happen to like the dynamic. She already has the kids, the career, the house, the car. Of course, none of that may keep him from dropping her like a hot potato when a younger woman enters the scene.

The bitter irony: he had suffered erectile dysfunction. A tale of two men Lily met two men on Craigslist who would rock her world: Luke, who restored her faith in romantic love; and Carl, who made her want to change her phone number, pull the covers over her head, and never go on another date again.

Some relationships enhance your life while others diminish and deplete you. Carl, who never did cop to his real age, but was well over sixty, made her feel like fuck locals free porn romantic hostage.

Last summer, Luke spent weekends on his boat at the Berkeley Marina and he and Lily started dating. He was funny, audacious, and he kept Lily engaged and interested, in bed and out of it. Lily and Luke fell in love. Carl was at the other end of the commitment spectrum: he wanted monogamy and he wanted it right away.

Shortly after meeting Lily, Carl took his ad off Craigslist, professed that he loved her, and started introducing her to his friends and family. Carl thought Lily was "The One" for him and first time fuck casual hook up sites was upset she wanted to keep dating other men. He put more and more pressure on her to date him exclusively and get serious. Had she entered a strange parallel universe where the guy wants a relationship and the chick just wants sex?

Are we all still in high school? Lily ran this by Anna. This poses a larger question: is promiscuity really possible for women without attachment forming? Anna admitted she fell in love "at least a little bit" with every man she slept with. Women are complex social creatures and our sexuality often requires some emotional or cerebral connection beyond just skin and friction. But there has to be friction.

And with Carl, there was some seriously good friction. Carl was expert at orgasm-inducing foreplay. Tip: look for a man with really long fingers. She told Carl "I love you. The complete truth was, Lily loved Carl because he was an amazing lover. She continued to date him for the great sex, but the strain of lying to him took its toll. Guilt stopped her orgasms, even when Carl worked hard to get her there. She was foiled by the mind-body connection. After a weekend of whale watching in Monterey, during which it became painfully clear they were totally incompatible out of the sack, Lily broke up with Carl.

Time is limited, especially for a fuck this guy sex hookups woman, Lily realized. She felt she had wasted three months with a guy who drove her crazy by day - even if he also drove her crazy at night. Carl did not first time fuck casual hook up sites it well: he sent her scathing e-mails and filled her answering machine with accusatory messages.

And with Luke, Lily got closer to knowing what she did want. Lily turned to Anna for advice, who urged her not to settle. Menage a Trois Despite the languid, Henry-and-June, Paris-in-the-rain romanticism that fuck people quotes local free dating site the menage-a-trois fantasy, Anna had first time fuck casual hook up sites type e-mails for months to try to set one up.

She contacted twelve couples and four pairs of men, but not one of these e-mail exchanges led to a single three-way tryst. Threesomes are a pervasive male fantasy - check out any porn film if you need confirmation. It also is a common post from couples with a female partner harboring bisexual feelings. Anna herself had been pushing away bisexual feelings for many years, and decided she would finally explore them.

Anna used to live as if there were a paradise in the afterlife, but now she lived as if her name were already listed in the hotel register in Hell. She found that one person was usually much more into the idea of a three-way than their partner.

Sometimes it was a man or a woman talking their significant other into trying something a little different on Saturday night. Before going to a meeting. Anna always asked to hear from the silent partner. She wanted to be sure that everyone who was there wanted to be there. Anna could handle garden-variety atheists, but how can you not believe in condoms?

When wooing, pairs of men were much better coordinated than couples. Two men would successfully tag-team Anna in e-mail exchanges until a meeting could be arranged. Among the dates that never went all the way: Anna drove in the pouring rain to Chow in Lafayette to have beers with Bill and Richard, the friendly, oh-so-normal guy-next-door team. It would be easy to imagine Richard standing behind you at the hardware store, Bill standing in front. Next came happy hour in Sausalito with two overprivileged captains of venture capital.

Kevin was quite handsome and aloof. His partner, Neil, owned a yacht and was old enough to be her dad. As he left, Neil discovered he knew the couple at the next table. Unfortunately, Anna found the waiter ten times more irresistible than her dates.

In the end, Anna found these threesome meetings rattling. After weeks of voluminous correspondence, Dick finally revealed he had lost his partner. It seemed that Chuck had fallen in lust for Dick. Swingtown Undeterred, Dick went ahead and answered a foursome ad with Anna as his new buddy. Paul and Missy were an attractive middle-aged married couple. Dick jumped into an e-mail correspondence with Missy and pretty soon the four found themselves seated around a table of raw oysters at Pearl on College Avenue.

But in a subsequent e-mail Missy erotic couples videos hot love scene video that her first husband had contracted HIV and died of AIDS from secret affairs he had had during their marriage. Although she was HIV-negative, Missy had understandably deep concerns about STDs, so the four would lay their cards out on the table. Anna trooped to the Berkeley Free Clinic for her HIV test.

Anna was sent off with fistfuls of condoms in every color: mint-flavored, lubricated, ribbed, and twisted. She did learn one thing: not to floss her teeth before, during, or after sex, to reduce the risk of oral-genital virus transmission.

What would be the odds of that anyway? Undaunted, Anna brought along every safe sex device available at Good Vibrations; dental dams, lickable lube, vibrators, Saran Wrap, and all those free condoms.

That night, Anna shared a peak sexual experience that crushed her bones to stardust. The next day, Anna visualized her happy future in a group marriage, but that lasted a nanosecond. The interpersonal dynamics of four naked people were exponentially more complicated than a relationship between just two people; and most of us know what a picnic that can be sometimes.

In the morning-after e-mails, it was clear Missy felt the swinging foursome was a one-time event, although Anna would have liked to have seen the couple again for another go-round. The life lessons After we decided to collaborate on this article, the number of dates we went on fell way off.

Lily dated Luke exclusively in the past few months. Their love grew deeper when, in April, Luke was handed an unexpected diagnosis of kidney disease. Romantic sexy movies find sex partner now started out as casual sex on a boat in the Berkeley Marina, ended up as friendship caught fire.

Hearts can and will be broken when sleeping around Craigslist. And in love, just as in life, there are no guarantees. Anna remains in the game full-time. We are publishing under pseudonyms to protect our kids and our day jobs, not because we have shame. Truth is, we are grateful to be having the passionate sex we missed when we were younger. We thank the men and women we have met on our journeys, first time fuck casual hook up sites.

Trust your body and your intuition. Be honest with your feelings. This article first ran in the East Bay Express. Stay Ahead of the Rest. Enviro Newswire presented by. PROTECT YOUR RIGHT TO INFORMED CONSENT AND DEFEND VACCINE EXEMPTIONS.

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